What not to wear
At long last the sun has arrived, a bit of a tan tends to make us all look a bit better, and this month’s feature offers some great advice for framing that tan. Yes, following Esquire’s damning words, we have some tips on the art of how to dress appropriately in the office. And in keeping with the summer theme, we have reviewed the perfect place for a spot of brunch where you can order your eggs sunny-side up.
Matt and Finn
A recent survey by Esquire rated actuaries as one of the worst-dressed professions in the UK. Looking around my office, I can’t say I have much to counter them. The slow domination of ‘business casual’ in the workplace has exacerbated this problem — loafers, chinos and an M&S easy-care shirt is just not a strong look. I will say that this style deficit affects the males in our profession more so than the ladies. There are a number of basic dress etiquette rules that all of us could follow to help us improve our image.
Though high-quality work is essential, an elegant work-look can encourage both clients and colleagues to take you seriously. A well-assembled outfit also delivers the subtler message that you pay great attention to detail.
Suit you, sir?
We are all paid more than enough to buy a couple of decent suits. Go and get one fitted if you can afford it and if not, at least go shopping with someone who knows what does or does not work for you. Pick a conservative suit in navy, black or grey. If you do want to go for a pinstripe look, go for something not too heavy. Let the quality of the material speak for itself.
Belt up.
A belt is not only for function but also form. Your trousers may not need a belt but if you have belt loops you should still wear one. What’s more, those brown shoes you are wearing would look that much better with a matching belt (oh, and there is a variety of shades of brown out there).
Learn your lines.
Detail is good but don’t overdo it. Wearing a pinstripe suit with a stripy tie and a stripy shirt is just too much. Plain shirts work well with stripy ties and vice versa. Never go for more than two stripy items of clothing and never both your shirt and tie.
Bag it up.
Yes, a rucksack is more practical for all those presentations but it makes you look like a schoolboy. Leave it for your gym kit and invest in a nice leather man-bag. Bonus points if you pull out of this bag some quality accessories. A leather-covered notepad and Mont Blanc pen look more sophisticated than a half-chewed biro and a few scraps of paper.
Sling the bling.
With jewellery, less is most certainly more. No-one will mind a wedding ring and a watch, but save the piercings and chains for the weekend. If you really do like wearing a watch, ditch the Casio and go for something a little more elegant.
Tie die.
Throw away those comedy Christmas ties. A Homer Simpson tie should never grace the workplace. Leave it in the bottom of your wardrobe and, if necessary, lie to your mum about how all the work guys found it hilarious. Keep your tie silk and co-ordinated with your shirt, tie a good solid knot such as a double Windsor but make sure it isn’t too big — we’re not estate agents.
Keep it clean.
Following all of the above is great but it can be completely ruined if you yourself are not clean, keep the hair neat and make sure any facial hair is well groomed. A subtle dab of cologne is always a nice touch. The same goes for the outfit, make sure the shirt and suit are well pressed and that your shoes are spotless.
One huge positive for us men is that formal business wear does not change significantly from year to year or season to season. Consider implementing the above as a fashion annuity, an up-front cost now will pay off for years to come.
If you want to challenge Esquire’s judgment, we would love to hear from you. If your dress sense is particularly snappy, we’ll put together a team to take to Esquire and show that, like most things, us actuaries really do know what we are doing.
Recommended album: Seu Jorge - The Life Aquatic Studio Sessions
Think David Bowie in Portuguese and you have this excellent album by the Brazilian musician/actor Seu Jorge. You may recognise the music as featured in Wes Anderson’s excellent 2005 film Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou that features Bill Murray sporting a very fashionable wool hat. This album puts a new slant on David Bowie, with acoustic songs translated into Portuguese. You may not know the words, but you’ll be singing along: “Five years, quando nao vi nada nesses, five years...”
Client entertaining: Automat, London
Offering brunch at its best, American diner Automat is nestled in the heart of Mayfair. It is the perfect spot for breakfast meetings with top clients with big appetites. Stylishly decorated, this is an upmarket place to eat your eggs in the morning. If you are there over the weekend, the recommendation is the Automat Brunch Burger — a burger cooked to order featuring a fried egg, cheese, bacon and a sausage. What more could you need, except possibly heart bypass surgery? For more information visit www.automat-london.com
Art by an actuary: Jon Bowden
Jon Bowden, an investment consultant with HSBC Actuaries and Consultants Ltd, took this picture early one autumn Sunday morning in woodland near Aldbury in Hertfordshire. For Jon, forests in the morning are probably one of the most peaceful places there are — true escapism at its best — something we believe he has managed to capture in this atmospheric shot. If you look carefully you might spot the rogue squirrel that crept into the frame.
If you would like your work featured in this space, please e-mail arts@the-actuary.org.uk
